I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
