it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
