One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
