Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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