I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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