Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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