I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
