he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
