I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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