I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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