Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize