i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
