sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
