Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
