Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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