it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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