I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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