Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
