My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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