Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
be right there i have to get my cape
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize