How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
