got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Boobs are out for the taking
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
