I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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