Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
