But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
