You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
