I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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