the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
and you fell through a lawn chair
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
did i just pee glitter
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