You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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