Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize