I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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