He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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