Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
please don't ironically join a cult
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