I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize