she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
