eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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