He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
