I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
