90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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