I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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