her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
