Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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