While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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