NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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