He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We are all done wearing pants today
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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