there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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