Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
