I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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