Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
