He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
