I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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