piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
