I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
