I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
