Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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