but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
