I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize