maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
