Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
