I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize